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Designer Cloaks of Legitimacy

from A Narxist Critique by stoner will & the narks

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  • Buy the Full Digital Album

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    15 track cassette with liner notes

    Includes unlimited streaming of A Narxist Critique via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Cleanse the vibes at work, clear the office air of that putrid "boss" stank energy after a "higher-up" encounter with this handy dandy, genuinely bonafide anti-boss crystal for the chill price of $4.20.
    ships out within 5 days
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      $4.20 USD or more 

     

  • T-Shirt/Apparel

    all hand-printed, embellished, and completely one of a kind - never know what you'll get!
    sunglasses colored with puffy paint, wash inside out in cold water for longevity of print.
    ships out within 14 days
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      $20 USD or more 

     

  • T-Shirt/Apparel

    quiet down the decibels, intercept the audio,
    move around the decimals, everything's a radio!
    super limited edition, all hand drawn and one of a kind.
    painted with puffy paint, wash inside out in cold water for longevity.
    ships out within 14 days
    3 remaining
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  • 2-color print of a bitchass Gadsden snake hoarding all the pumpkins.
    hand printed so they're all a little different!
    raw edged. iron patch for a minute or so before washing
    wash in cold water for print longevity
    ships out within 14 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $4.20 USD or more 

     

  • Poster/Print

    this 11"x17" double-sided semi-gloss beauty showcases your favorite stoner and narks just hanging out in the waters of the times on one side, with your favorite dolphin swimming through a sea of deliberately difficult-to-catch lyrics revealed to all on the other. lyrics of every song on the album immortalized in full!

    choose your own side to showcase on your bedroom wall: icons of an era or sea creature of enormous intellect and a wall of tiny text to prove it. who am i kidding, both sides are all those things.
    ships out within 14 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $4.20 USD or more 

     

  • you know you're thinking about it... the proverbial shit and the fan
    externalize your obsession with this friendly reminder patch!
    raw edge, all hand-printed so all a little different, occasional puffy paint details
    put patch in dryer on high before washing, wash in cold water for longevity of print
    ships out within 14 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $4.20 USD or more 

     

lyrics

Tell the concern trolls to stay away from my hot air balloon, because you’re never going to run a record label like a business, accountable to the CIA and some fitbits, not discounting the best efforts of the type-A misfits.

The Myers-Briggs could never calculate my deficiencies. I’m a Co-Star boy, I prefer the algorithmic cosmos of the make-believe. Because my genius is unsure when it’s reeling from David Brooks’ billy club. And did anyone hear a thud, I think that was constitutional democracy.

And oh-oh, designer cloaks of legitimacy are on sale. Yeah, they’re fifty percent off if you tell them you’re woke. And oh-oh designer cloaks of invisibility are upscale. Yeah, they’re flying off the shelves. And oh-no, you might think this is a joke. But these people don’t want to be stormed by an angry mob.

Tell the chief of police that she can go ahead and cancel me, after she reads my zine and deems it counterinsurgency. Well that’s fine, that’s ok if she doesn’t like my jokes. That’s why she’s got a gun and she doesn’t have a Netflix show.

And machine learning could never cackle at my sarcasms. My jokes are too good and too great is the chasm between me and satellite images of Buttigieg, the reflections of which negate the semblance of an edge.

And the preppers are going to prep out in broad daylight. You’re never going to taste the influencers’ birthright. When you can’t see them croak. When you can’t see their cloaks. I swear to god, oh-oh-oh. I swear to the ideology of the op-ed page. And I swear to the Pinkertons dying on the hill of fifty percent off that Noah's ark is only a phone call away.

And oh-oh, designer cloaks of legitimacy are on sale. Yeah, they’re fifty percent off if you tell them you’re woke. And oh-oh designer cloaks of invisibility are upscale. Yeah, they’re flying off the shelves. And oh-no, you might think this is a joke. But these people don’t want to be stormed by an angry mob.

credits

from A Narxist Critique, released October 15, 2021

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stoner will & the narks image

stoner will & the narks Hadley, Massachusetts

the favorite band of bots and paid protestors.

brian
steph
will
anya

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